Biblical Child Discipline?

 Lets talk about child discipline. It was recently brought to my attention that some in the secular world see child discipline like spanking as directly linked to Christianity. Supposedly this comes from the age old saying “spare the rod, spoil the child”. Which supposedly is derived from Proverbs 13:24 which says “He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Well for starters, I don’t see the word “spoiled” in there at all but, we will dive in nonetheless. 

 

So agreeably in the Old Testament there are multiple references to disciplining children to raise them up the right way. But arguably, is the discipline supposed to be a guide or a punishment? So as discussed, multiple references in the Old Testament, many in Proverbs, all of which state very similar ideas. Essentially, discipline your children to make sure they don’t turn out bad. Pretty simple, right? But what does it mean by discipline? Surely it means spanking or some other form of physical discipline because it references a rod right? Well not necessarily, for starters, the term for Rod in Hebrew is שֵׁבֶט pronounced Shaybet. This word literally means a stick (which could be used for walking, writing, ruling, etc) and figuratively means a correction. The word for discipline is מוּסָר pronounced moosawr, which means discipline, chastisement, or instruction. So it could mean exactly what it says literally or it could mean “he who doesn’t correct his child with instruction hates him….” So bottom line, the Old Testament doesn’t expressly say to physically discipline your children. In Proverbs 19:18 it does expressly say to not discipline your child with anger “Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.”

 

So lets check the New Testament. Surprisingly the audience changes slightly where the message is the same but the majority of the verses regarding child obedience are addressed to the children, such as Eph. 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” It does address the parents as well with the same message as the Old Testament in Eph 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” But no reference to a rod…even the word for discipline in Greek is παιδεία, pronounced pahediya means chastisement, instruction, or nurture. Again, doesn’t expressly say to physically discipline your children. In fact there are only 8 references to the word Rod in the New Testament and none of them revolve around raising children. 

 

So bottom line is no there is no express verse that says you need to physically discipline your children, so no in todays parenting world, Christianity and Spanking should not and do not have a Biblical connection.